We all reach a point in our lives where new circumstances either force us to change directions in our lives or we simply want a new path to follow. Maybe you’re starting a new family with the birth of a first child. Maybe you’re looking to change jobs or are having to look for another job after being laid off or fired. Or maybe you’re simply unhappy or bored with life and looking to do something new. That was my life a few months ago. I had hit a point where I realized I was very bored with my life and what I was doing day-to-day. There wasn’t any passion or excitement as I got out of bed and simply went about my day doing things that I felt I simply had to do. I didn’t see a bigger picture anymore. And I’m a bigger-picture kind of person. So I looked back at books I read a while ago and stumbled upon one that I worked with when I was looking to change jobs again. It was called Zero to Passion by Christie Mims and it focused on finding passion, or purpose, in your life, and then brainstorming job ideas that let you express this passion. It was then that I had hit upon a passion statement I hadn’t considered before:
To teach others the deeper aspects of the world around them.
Recently I had moments where someone commented on me teaching others in some form, mostly as a school teacher, which I had always brushed off. Now I’m not saying I’m taking that route just yet, but it was a consideration that I hadn’t until now considered. And looking over my life, I had always felt strong and appreciated whenever I was teaching someone something or helping them understand a concept. Sometimes it could be frustrating if the person wasn’t willing to accept certain facts or truths, but at least they learned something that could hopefully be beneficial for them, and through those challenging moments, I learned something new as well.
Now I had several limiting beliefs that prevented me from considering teaching, such as “What if I’m too young to teach someone something?” or “Do I have to be a traditional school teacher to be seen as a trainer or coach in something? What if I don’t know the material that well? Will the students/ audience listen to me or constantly challenge me and my patience? Will I have to remain in the same place for years before I can move and teach elsewhere?” Many of these questions kept me hesitant and limited when I tried envisioning myself as someone who could teach others invaluable information and skills. But then I remembered the Work by Byron Katie. I’ve been working extensively with this tools and the techniques in the book Deliberate Receiving by Melody Fletcher. Both help you identify resistance you have to what you want in life and then teach you to let it go. The main questions Byron Katie teaches you to explore is “Is it true?” Then she has three or four turnarounds, depending on the belief and if it’s geared towards another person, that breaks apart any belief that is causing you pain.
“People won’t listen to me. I have nothing invaluable to say.”
Not true. Sometimes people will vent to me, and I’ll say something that shines a light on what’s actually bothering them. It’s not what they want to hear, but it’s what will help them the most to make sense of what’s going on. It keeps you grounded in truth. I used to think I was trapped in life and couldn’t do anything about it. When I did The Work and the turnarounds, I discovered the phrases “I don’t listen to me” and “People do listen to me”. The goal is to find how these turnarounds of the original belief are true. For me, I realized bad habits I had that were keeping me stuck, as well as times where people did hear what I had to say and even thanked me for it. This process can be used on almost any limiting belief that shows up when we think about something we really want. The turnarounds of the beliefs “I’m not a good parent” or “I’m not a competent worker” force you to realize instances where the opposite is true. Maybe you’ve taken classes and read books in parenting skills. Maybe someone complimented you on the job or thanked you on a task you helped them with. Maybe you received an award that you forgot all about.
Once you realize the other side of these beliefs, you then uncover the fear that you’ve held against what you really want [a new job, your own loving family, a new direction in life]. A couple of years ago, I read a book by Susan Jeffers called Feel the Fear…and Do It Anyway. She taught you techniques on how to go about a new path in life despite whatever fear you may be feeling. I know this book has been a great beginning resource for some people. Check it out and see if it helps you.
Changing directions in life means instilling the confidence to go forth and believing you will succeed in that new path. Or at least take it as a chance to explore and learn more about yourself and what you like. You never know unless you try.
So what are some new things you want to try in life or a new direction your seeking? What are the fears you have around this? Sometimes admitting that you’re nervous or scared is the first step in realizing any hesitations and limitations you have to a new path. Ask yourself, “Is this belief about myself or the situation true? What is it that I actually want?” See what comes up. Then seek out evidence or examples that show you that you actually can have what you want. If someone else did it, then there’s a high chance that there’s a way you can too.