What is Resilience? - Strength Card

The Strength card represents our ability to withstand hardships and adversity. This is also known as resilience. But there are some misconceptions such as whether people are born more resilient or if this would prevent us from painful experiences in the future. Let's talk about what it actually means in this episode.

Thank you for tuning in to an episode of Merwin's Philosophy, where I explore the connection between spirituality and psychology and how that coincides with social issues we face today. Now here's the show. 

Welcome to another episode of the Life Journey series, the series in this podcast where I look at each card within the practice of tarot, specifically the major arcana. And related to psychological terms that most of us understand. Now in the last episode, I looked at the chariot card, which represents a certain path that we're taking in our life. And most times it shows up when we're trying to make a certain transition in our life or may need to rethink certain decisions that we've made.

Now, let's talk specifically about the strength card and what that means when it can show up in our life. So, in part one, we'll talk more specifically about the strength card, the more spiritual side of it. In part two, we'll talk about what it actually means, more about resilience. And in part three, I'll tie it all together and come up with my own personal theories when we talk about resilience and what it means in our culture and society.

Part 1: Strength Card [00:01:26] 

So let's go ahead with part one. Tarot is a more spiritual practice in the realm of cartomancy and divination. And within that practice, the strength card shows a woman and most likely a lion or some other animal that symbolizes bravery. What it means is that every one of us has some kind of animalistic urges within us, or in other words, we have an emotional side to us that is sometimes irrational and can be detrimental if we're not aware of our actions and thoughts. So whenever we see this in a spread, upright can signal confidence, resilience, even patience. And not only represents our inner strength and courage, but also our emotional regulation. We're able to process our emotions and display them in a stable way, and it's very important for us to consider our emotions and not push them aside, as I've said in other episodes, but instead choose actions that honor them.

This could be like walking away from a problem instead of blowing up, or counting five breathing instead of, again, making the situation worse. Now whenever we see this card reversed in a reading, this can symbol some kind of emotional instability, or something's out of balance. We may be feeling volatile and insecure or even anxious. This could be due to some type of destructive behavior patterns, limiting beliefs, old fears, or even apathy. There is some type of lack of self awareness and even emotional intelligence, which I'll talk more in part two about. It's a time where we need to examine our thoughts and triggers as well as learn new behaviors for processing our emotions and try to get back to that emotional balance.

Now I've compared specific cards to each other in other episodes and I feel like it's best to do that in this episode. And the three cards I want to compare it to is the Emperor, the Empress, and the Lovers because I feel like there are some common stressors that we see in our everyday life that may fall in line with the Strength card.

So in episode 6, we talked about the Emperor, and this is about our sense of autonomy and empowerment. Now couple that with the Strength card and it could symbol this sense of resilience, courage, confidence, and tremendous willpower to not only overcome any challenges we're facing, but also an ability to make decisions that are beneficial for us. Now, on the other hand, it can also represent a sense of insecurity and powerlessness that you may be feeling. 

And in Episode 5, we talked about the Empress, which is about our sense of self care and with the Strength card that can symbolize that emotional balance that I'm talking about. We're able to adequately deal with any negative experiences we're facing and still remain resilient and emotionally stable. Of course, when these cards are reversed, it can mean that, again, we're feeling some type of insecurity. We're feeling volatile. Our emotions don't feel stable. Perhaps we feel like our life is spinning out of control and we're not sure what to do. We may be acting out of character because of this. Instead of taking steps to get back to a healthy balance and face these challenges with a better mindset.

And then in episodes 8 and 9, I talked about the Lovers. And this card is all about our understanding of love and how it shows up in our life. This is a major stressor for a lot of people, especially those dealing with some type of loneliness or past trauma related to romantic or familial relationships. Now, seeing both of these cards upright may mean that you have a deep understanding of your relationships and are able to navigate any issues or disagreements that may arise between you and the other people. However, this isn't everyone's story. And most people, like I said, seem to struggle with navigating their relationships with understanding and confidence. Some people put their needs last and act out of desperation, others push the other person away with negative or even toxic behaviors. 

Part 2: Resilience [00:05:16] 

But let's go on to part two specifically about the strength card. The American Psychology Association defines resilience as “the process and outcome of successfully adapting to difficult or challenging life experiences”. Basically, this is the ability to process our emotions during these challenging moments and develop behaviors that will help us instead of cause more distress. 

Now most times, common stressors will be some kind of loss, such as a breakup or death of a loved one, but it can also be any sudden changes. Such as an accident or any event that forces us to make changes and transitions in our life. Many of these stressors we've already talked about starting all the way back from the first episode with the Fool card. Whenever we're making a change, whether because of external forces or voluntarily, we can encounter challenges and obstacles that can temporarily stop us.

Now, resilience does not mean we will never encounter painful experiences. That's impossible. The longer we keep living, the more we'll encounter challenges along the way. These challenges could be benign or traumatic. However, resilience allows us to build skills and responses that will ease the pain during those moments. And in the process, we're able to learn more about ourselves and gain a better understanding of life. 

The American Psychology Association has an article that I'll link in my show notes, that has four components for building resilience. So let's go ahead and start with that. The first one is building connections. And this means connecting with empathetic and supportive people who can help you during a challenging moment and validate your feelings. This can be a family member, friends, or by joining a group. This connection can help you feel like you're not alone as isolation can keep us stuck in pain and make us feel hopeless over time.

Again, I'll add emphasis on people that are kind and empathetic and supportive and will validate your feelings. Not everyone in your life will fill this role and it's important for us to realize which people those are. At the very least, a therapist may be the main one who can fill this role for you, but I know that comes with a financial cost.

[00:07:23] Moving on to the second one, fostering wellness. This is looking at self care, but on a more detailed level. First off, self care is both physical and mental because daily stressors and occasional trauma will affect us both mentally and physically. Taking care of our body will help us adapt to stressful situations, just like taking care of our mind and adopting practices that are labeled as mindfulness will help us restore hope in our lives.

This is why you read some articles that suggest exercise, proper sleep, proper eating and nutrition, as well as meditation, journaling, doing yoga, or going for walks outside. Some people may think that these are trite suggestions, but when it comes to mental health, sometimes the most trite advice is a great starting point. The thing is, we can't end it with there. We may need other techniques to build upon those very basic suggestions. 

And then last but not least, we need to avoid negative outlets and habits. Yes, it's fun to drink your pain away sometimes and go party , or eat your fillings with some good dessert. However, all that does is that it helps mask the pain. It doesn't really heal it from the inside out. Again, resilience is not about eliminating pain and stress, because that's impossible, but learning how to better manage it. 

[00:08:37] The third component is finding purpose. There are two ways I want to point out. First is helping others. Sometimes we need to get outside of our own heads and look beyond our problems. Doing activities such as volunteering or helping a family member or friend in need can allow you to actively focus on caring for someone else, which can foster a sense of connection.

A second way is more personal, which is taking action in the face of adversity. This won't always feel good. Sometimes we may be forced to take actions that we don't want to take, but will help us get to a better stable position. Maybe if you're having financial issues, you may need to get a second job. You may need to be late on a bill. You may need to reach out for financial help from a family member or friend.

Again, it doesn't feel good, but sometimes we need to take some sort of action to move that needle forward or to get us to a better, stable place. And both of these actions present us with opportunities of self discovery. Basically what I mean is that when we're on the other side of that hardship, or even when we're going through it, we learn more about ourselves and automatically build a sense of resilience.

We realize how strong we actually are. And can show it that greater sense of strength and confidence, even when we're feeling vulnerable. The relationships that we foster will grow and we'll gain a deeper perspective of other people, of ourselves and the world. 

[00:09:59] And the fourth one is building healthy thoughts. This is easier said than done, especially when you're in the midst of a hardship. It's easy to let our thoughts spiral and engage in negative or all or nothing thinking during these moments. But keeping things in perspective and cultivating a helpful outlook will lessen the moments of spiraling. Yes, stressful situations will arise, and over time, we can build better ways to respond to it. It takes practice. That's why it's called building resilience. Again, no one is really born resilient. It's something that we build over time. 

And this is when I want to bring up serenity. I've mentioned this in other episodes as well, but it's perfect in this episode. Accepting the things you cannot change, but focusing on what you do have the power and ability to do. We can learn from past mistakes and hardships and build better behaviors and responses for next time. And even though it's a little bit more nuanced, because new challenges will pop up eventually, but because of the growth that you've done, while building resilience, building inner strength, building courage, that those other past experiences that you've had will again help ease the pain and help give you a little bit more guidance when going through that new challenge and adversity.

Part 3: Resilience vs Culture [00:11:11] 

But let's go on to Part 3, which is my personal theory that I have when it comes to resilience versus our culture. Our society doesn't like dealing with emotion, and therefore we don't really know stress management and emotional regulation. We hear phrases such as “toughen up” and “stop crying”. We continue to perpetuate gendered beliefs on emotions such as finding emotional men weak or stoic and dominant women as unfeminine and bossy. This leads men to thinking that it's better to bottle up their emotions and push them aside, whereas women will become afraid to speak up for themselves or voice their opinions. People continue to blame the emotion instead of learning how to regulate their emotions in healthy ways. 

Like I said in Part 2, even well meaning advice such as breathe and count to 10, I hear some young people say that that's just trite and unhelpful. And it's true, you can't stop there. But again, we need to build additional tips and skills beyond these simple suggestions, but they are good starting points. The trick is finding which skills actually work for you and putting them to use. This is why self reflection is important when you're experiencing a hardship and finding that right perspective about it.

None of this is easy, remember, and there's still pockets of society that don't believe in mental health, or counseling, or getting a mental health professional. I mentioned how some people have a bad perspective of therapists because they've had a few bad therapists in their past, but I would liken this to finding a doctor, you need medical help, but the first doctor or two doctors were bad, so you just swear off medical help altogether. That's very dangerous and will only make the situation worse. I'm going to say the same thing with mental health. Just because you have one or two bad experiences, you've had one or two bad therapists, should not be the reason you should swear off any kind of mental health. Maybe you need to back off and read a book. Maybe you need to find a therapist in a different way. Maybe you need to do a little bit thorough research on the vetting of a therapist. Not every therapist should even have a license. I've heard horror stories, but it kind of saddens me when I hear people swear off therapy altogether. 

And that goes into my next point. I see people on social media trying to spread awareness about mental health, including counselors and mental health professionals, but we still have communities that still have a negative view on it, or they're scared to actually go to a therapist that specializes in their issues. And would rather go to like a religious leader or family member or somebody who doesn't really have expertise in mental health or from an unbiased and scientific approach. This can lead us to having a warped perception of reality that perpetuates the belief of either a particular religion or traditions and it sometimes keeps people stuck in positions of powerlessness and struggle. More so, I live in America, so our culture praises capitalistic approaches instead of those that help on a human level. We can't take a mental health day because of the unreasonable demands of a corporate job. We're pushed to get married and start families without understanding the hardship that those life transitions include, both financial and emotional.

But then when people do take steps contrary to the traditional beliefs, they're shamed for it. We shame couples who would rather cohabit instead of get married. Many religious groups do this, by the way. We shame women who don't want children. Employees are made to feel like they must come up with some terrible lie, like a family death, just to take a personal day off. Our culture still has a long way of putting humans first, instead of corporation financial profits and outdated traditions. This could be a symptom of late stage capitalism, but I think the American culture just really needs a reset. 

And more so about the children. People think it's more important to have a kid than raise a child. There's another example of putting societal beliefs and fantasies before understanding the reality. Not everyone is fit to have a kid. Also, having a child doesn't mean you automatically become a more loving and patient person. There's plenty of horror stories of parents, including mothers, abusing their children. And we see this all the time with the pro life versus pro choice arguments. I've kind of touched on it on other episodes, so I'm not going to rehash that here. 

[00:15:22] All of this pushes us to conformity, which just causes more stress and misalignment with what we want. We don't put forth the effort to gain more self awareness, emotional regulation, and emotional intelligence because we demonize our emotions instead of paying attention to them and then seeking the appropriate help for our emotions that can help us gain a better perspective of the situation we're reacting to. 

We also end up not knowing how to manage our responses to triggers and either shame ourselves or reprimand others in unreasonable ways. I see this all the time on social media and yes some of it is displayed just simply to cause discourse but some of these harmful beliefs and behaviors that we see displayed are in earnest. And they're co signed by their viewers. I see it repeated offline as well. And I often wonder if the many reasons why people seem depressed and anxious is because we can't reconcile the disconnect between what society tells us to believe and the truth that we're uncovering in part, thanks to the internet and social media.

Many people don't know how to reconcile that disparity. And so we behave in negative and even self destructive ways. All of this boils down to learning serenity. What we can do in accepting the aspects that are out of control. That doesn't mean that we don't take steps towards facilitating change towards those big level issues such as global warming, late stage capitalism, but instead we recognize that we can only do so much. Meanwhile, keeping hope and a sense of purpose for our life. When we become apathetic and hopeless, we shift into powerlessness and depression, which can be very hard to climb out of. Building resilience will help us weather the storms that life will inevitably take us through.

Conclusion [00:17:04] 

So, in conclusion, some hardships and events are so traumatic that it can take a long time for us to process and get over it. Sometimes these events can prevent us from functioning for a while, and this is why I say that therapy is very handy and very important. Going through therapy is one way we can cultivate a sense of resilience and build necessary skills we can use throughout our life.

Again, I theorize that many times we fall into a depression cycle or let our mind spiral because we're not able to think of anything else better to do or healthy ways to process what's going on. Therapy is definitely an option if you seem stuck in life or dealing heavily with some type of grief. This is part of self care, part of self empowerment by taking the first steps and seeking help, and it all results in building that sense of strength and resilience. 

Thank you for listening to this episode. If you're watching on YouTube, be sure to leave me a comment and subscribe for more. For those of you listening through a podcast app, make sure you subscribe and leave me a review. Click the link in the show notes or head on over to Merwin McCrady. com to leave me a comment there. Thank you so much, and I'll see you in the next one.